My father died the first week of the school year. My grandmother died the week after the last week of the school year. To say that this was a tough school year would be an understatement. However, here is my tiny habit/step/tip.
Have an outfit that you can wear to a funeral (by this I mean it fits, it is appropriate for a visitation and/or funeral, you have shoes that go with it, it doesn’t need to be ironed or cleaned, it is relatively comfortable, etc…)
Why would this be a tiny tip? Because when life throws you something like a family death, you have an immense amount of things to worry about (hospice, home health care, time off from work, food, contacting people, lawyers, the bank, their house, relatives, funeral home and expenses, etc… all while grieving this person you knew and loved). The LAST thing you need is to try to find an outfit to wear, shoes that fit, etc…
If you are responsible for little people (kids) or a partner/spouse, make sure they have an outfit also. If you don’t have a lot of money, get some pants and a shirt from Goodwill. If your kids grow a lot, get them something from Goodwill or hand me downs. I have a stretchy black dress that fits and looks good if I gain 10 pounds or lose 10 pounds. I threw a black cardigan over it and some jewelry. I have lots of pairs of black shoes. My husband has a black suit and always has a white dress shirt clean.
Here’s what this preparation will do for you-eliminate fights, eliminate frustration, eliminate questions, and just generally eliminate one small part of a very icky time.
Other tips (tiny ones). I almost hesitate to suggest some things because I was completely in survival mode until today. But here are a few little things that helped.
Try to eat as healthy as you can-yes, I ate a half box of donuts one day. However, I tried to get some protein and vegetables in me the next day.
Get some fresh air. If you can, add a small walk. If you can’t, don’t beat yourself up.
Drink as much water as you can (not only is it good for you, but it gives you some alone time in the bathroom)
Be incredibly honest with people who offer to help. When they say “what can we do?” TELL THEM. One friend brought distilled water for my dads oxygen machine. Another friend brought sandwich bread, meat, cheese (we had only eaten sugar for about 7 days and no one wanted to go to the store.) Another friend had a mass said at the Catholic Church.
Don’t try to be strong. Reach out for help when people offer. Then pay it forward some day when they are in the same situation.
To my 85 followers-THANK YOU! I will be able to write more now that it is summer and hopefully the funerals are behind me. I am self publishing my book in July. I will put a link on here to purchase it when it it ready!